Africa · Ethiopia · Harari people · Love · marriage · Men · People · Women

Why Do You Want Him To Marry You?


That was the response I gave to the question asked. I don’t have anyone right now to know the answer as to why I want him to marry me. Am I supposed to? Wait, what? I don’t get it. Do you?

Ok, to clear things up, no; I’m not getting married.

I was having a conversation with someone, whom I will be referring to as my mentor from now on, and he kind of opened up my eyes to a new sense of thinking.

I mean, everyone says, “Before you do anything, you must first make a plan.”

I say, “Eh…nothing ever goes as planned anyways.”

Every girl wants to get married at some point in her life. We, harari girls, are different. We don’t just want to get married; we want to get married in our early 20’s. In most cases, this is true; they do get married early. I honestly don’t mind when I get married; I just don’t want to be 40 years old still living with my parents. I said that to my mentor and he posed that question.

Why do you want him to marry you?

Who? What do you mean WHY? I didn’t get it!! AHH!

Do you want him to marry you because he loves your personality and who you are or do you want him to marry you because you are young and fresh?

(Well, he didn’t say “young and fresh” he used a different set of words.)

It makes sense now, right?

A man should want to marry the girl based on what’s inside and not the opposite. He should be able to communicate well, connect, and have fun with her. If he is marrying her because she’s young, fresh and whatever else, he’s just not the one. What’s going to happen after some years when she is 38 and with children? Most likely, he is still going to be interested in a young, fresh chick.

Life is always about choices. Which route should you take? And when should you take those routes? Should you get married as early as possible? Should you just focus on you, your education and your career, then let the chips fall where they may?

It is important to think about all factors when making these kinds of life altering decisions. Women shouldn’t just get up and say, “yes” to any marriage proposal that may come their way just because they’re afraid they won’t be asked that question again.

I want him to marry me because he loves to talk, laugh, chill, joke, and be spontaneous with me.

I don’t want him though, one day when we get in a fight, to ask himself, “why did I get married?!”

[By writing this blog, I’m not trying to pick on anyone who chooses the other route in life; I’m just talking personally and what I want.]


10 thoughts on “Why Do You Want Him To Marry You?

  1. Hi,

    I just read your article and it is really interesting. Just as a reminder
    I want to remind you one thing . When choosing a mate the first thing
    that we should look for is a religion specifically for Muslims and then we
    can go for beauty ,clan (tribe) and any of our personal choices. The first one is mandatory in my opinion (religion) and the rest are optional. If a person is disciplined with and grown up on such a way then he / she can easily satisfy and protect the interest of the other party .

  2. I say forget everything and focus on personality and character of that person you want to marry. Religion cannot be a label of those qualification you want plus love cannot be found with qualification please note that you are not employing that person.

    Love is not about perfection either you love that person because you love him for some reasons that you might not even explain in words. ” No wonder they call it falling …….”

  3. Hi,

    Religion mean ,to my understanding, is a way of life . And our way of
    life determines our character and our character shows our personality
    and this inturn leads to our destiny. I know that any one of us may get
    in love with a person of different faith, But how many of do succeded in
    changing our love to marraige??? May be 0.001 %. There fore love and relation ship should be based on religion if we really need it to be
    successful and to be changed to MARRAIGE. Correct me if am wrong. thanks .

  4. Hey! I like reading your posts mostly because I get what you mean when you talk about the Hararien things and I like the way you write it’s like you’re talking to us. Anyways I just wanted to say that some people get married early specially Hararien women. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that she is marring him just because she is scared her time will pass and that no more proposals will come for her. But could just be that at a young age she found the one that loves her and loves him as well, the one to chill with her, make her laugh, make her feel like she is the best thing that ever happened to him……

    1. I could understand that. Young love is cute, and it happens to alot of people. I just dont know if it happens to Harari people. lol They dont even talk to the opposite sex properly, let alone fall in love at that age. (I’m just saying) It might happen though.

  5. I hear you. Even though i want to get married young, it is really tiring thinking about it just because in this country people say “if you don’t get married by 24 that means you are old and won’t get married ever” .

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